We need to feel Safe

Late last year, while everyone was going about their normal business, a story emerged. Two people of full age had been at the centre of a rather ugly unfolding. At the time the first narrative emerged, it was from a third party, one who had been confided in by the alleged victim, obviously the one who found it uglier. In a heartbeat the story had been picked up on various social media platforms with diverse opinions being formed even with the scanty facts at play. The purported wrongdoer was also drawn into the fray where he obviously denied the knowledge of whatever was being said and even threatened legal action for dragging his name through the dirt. Like every story, it was to be soon swept away by the winds of another raging and fresh tale but however it didn’t just go away, it left a trail.

In the wake of this story, there were many discussions that I found myself engaged in but one particular one stood out. In what was supposed to be an academic gathering, we found ourselves wavering off to discuss the events around us, about life and what occupied our minds. For the two or so hours we spent, the discussion was around sexual harassment and the biggest fear expressed by the girls in the room that day was that they no longer felt safe, especially around boys no matter who it was. The guys they didn’t suspect were the actual predators, those who spoke good English and dressed nicely, those that were gentle and charming, ever smiling; their biggest strength being their unpredictability. Many were actually public figures, who sat on high tables at events and would even give speeches in mammoth crowds. But in a bat of an eyelid, these guys would turn into beasts. The girls later asked a fundamental question, how can we feel safe if we are not sure about those around us? I didn’t leave that question in that room, I carried it around with me everywhere I went, I wanted to probe and see and also ask those around me. Unfortunately, I didn’t find an answer.

The past week has only served to re-awaken this million dollar question that I have often toyed with.  As I was still recovering from the horrors of the R Kelly revelations, where countless accusations were being leveled against him for sexual violence against little children, I listened to a horrifying story from a friend who narrated a rather related ordeal but the difference was that this was not a celebrity miles away, it was a nightmare of people I interact with, those I talk to and many I used to respect. It reminded me of that gathering I had sat in only months ago when the culprits were described as gentle and smart, with good looks and appear respectable. Their fickle nature was their biggest strength and more boldness is required from the victims. They need to name them; we should shame them, shun them and isolate them, that can be the only way to show them that we are not ready to accept their very bad ways.

I am not so good with music but I know a thing or two about musicians especially those that pull crowds like the one R Kelly pulled at Lugogo in 2010. The headline in the dailies the following day screamed, “We want more.” He had stepped on stage, performed and left everyone yearning for more. A space of 8 years has however altered so much, it may not have reduced his net-worth but it has certainly put a stain on his brand, he may still sing like he used to but many may never listen to his songs the same way, if they ever listen to them at all. If the world was to scream for him today and for all other sexual harassers, it wouldn’t be to ask for more but to call them to order because such habits are uncouth and disgusting. The world and like everyone else deserves better.

On a lighter note I wish all those graduating this week from the prestigious Makerere University all the best in their journey ahead. Many employees like to say that the difference between a brilliant student and an average one is seen the moment you step out into the field of work. On an individual basis, many of this year’s graduates were my classmates at some point but they chose a shorter route to the destination we are all headed for. I hope to join you soon.

In the same spirit I also would like to wish Steven of house Nuwagira, a great friend of mine a happy birthday. He has many very special attributes but what stands out for me is his work ethic and ability to come up with solutions in a trice. Back in high school, I worked with him on our school magazine and just when we were almost through, a high powered virus attacked our computer and erased all our work, only two people knew about it. He came up with a rather quick solution and it saved our necks that time. Happy birthday once more!

Manchester United fans are already having a great week; I wish the rest a better week ahead!