Balance for Better; why women rightly deserve a place at the table

There is always something memorable about one’s childhood days. For some it is the games and toys, for others it is the special treatment but for many it is the moments that proved you were the child that you actually are. Calling and you have an immediate answer or crying and a minute later you are in someone’s arms, being soothed and caressed remains among the joys and blessings of being a child.

Growing up has never been an event, it is a process that requires you to undergo a series of transitional rites that take you from one stage to another. My own experience was no different from the rest. The moments that can’t easily go away are those where the privileges and perks that caused much joy over our elders would suddenly be taken away and just like the crowds, we would settle for the normal.

The most pronounced was mostly at dinner as the evenings unfolded into nights. Because of the limited capacity that the dining table could handle, we the little ones would be allowed the licence to roam on the mats (not the carpets because they were a luxury). It is while ensconced somewhere in a far away corner, a good distance away from the table that you would loathe the visitor that came around because ultimately, they had cost you your seat at the coveted table.

 Uganda joined the rest of the world on 8^th March to celebrate the International Women’s Day. It was a day to hold special, to celebrate and honour our mothers, wives, sisters, girlfriends and fiancées. The real purpose of women’s day as it should be is to celebrate women’s history, highlighting their achievements and milestones and not forgetting to use the opportunity to raise awareness about the need for equality. We cannot run away from the enormous value of women in our society today, from the mother who carried you for nine months, bathed you and made sure you slept satisfied to the sister who chose your first date outfit to the wives who have to find a balance between family and career.

Our mothers, sisters, wives and girlfriends have however been constantly suffered marginalization. And this is not a thing of yesterday; it is part of the things our predominantly patriarchal society has accepted to live with at times by omission but majority of times by commission. But we can’t say we haven’t made strides because our great grandmothers, grandmothers and some of our mothers were denied certain delicacies, lived without may privileges, that is now partly a thing of the past, the titles that had been constructed for a certain gender are beginning to be unconstructed and the women are accepting to challenge in the arenas that were recently male dominated, the strides are being taken. The campaigns and women movements are also doing great work in debunking certain myths, unshackling those in patriarchy bondage and freeing the minds of those still held hostage.

I for one didn’t understand the real place of women in my entire childhood; I didn’t appreciate them enough because my surroundings didn’t favour it. In school, the teachers would unashamedly admit that the first place was not meant for girls. The boys would be kept on constant pressure of making sure they outdo the girls. I didn’t bother to ask myself why until it happened one day, a girl topped the class. The day was normal just like any other, the sky didn’t come down and the sun rose from the East and set in the West. It is at my later stage in life that I learnt about how gifted the same way we all are, what a man can do, a woman can do and sometimes even much better.

I will share a simple story. During the 1994 Genocide, Sula Karuhimbi hid and protected hundreds of people in her property and nourished them with food from her field. Using her reputation as a healer, Sula convinced the militia that whoever dares to enter her house will be eaten up by her fetishes. She was an example of courage and humanity, like so many other women in the world. This is just one of the many examples of women that have stood tall in this world and created an impact on the lives of others, they have displayed to those ready to see that you don’t need a certain genetic make up to accomplish certain feats.

 The world didn’t seem to pay attention many years ago but that is no longer acceptable today. The achievements of women stare in our faces wherever we choose to look, they are hard to ignore and we must embrace them.

For many years, women have been pushed away from the table, huddled in a corner away because the men had turned into permanent visitors. That is a thing of yesterday, if the seats are not enough; the men are going to have to push up and accept to share the table with women because that is where they deserve to be!

Blessed week ahead!