There
is something unique and distinctive about class. It is a thing that is quite
difficult to define with precision, one that you may not touch with your
physical hands but yet seems obvious to the human eye. Class has never been
about resources, wealth or power although these could accentuate its existence,
but it is a cocktail of bits and pieces of one’s acts, conduct and general
outlook. You cannot attach a price to it but its unflagging aura is one that
you would classify as priceless. It
comes in simple and innocuous ways such as what you say, how you say it, the
things that you choose to do, the manner in which you do them.
In
a week that has been dominated by thinly veiled barbs and cheap shots, from
water melons to pumpkins to sending others to hang and in hell, it was not an
audition of character or good morals but it was a display of classless acts
that mirror the image of us, our society and how much we have accepted as okay.
I
will share a very short story about a very important lear that I picked from
one of the most impactful teachers I have met in my education life. I have
since come to terms with the fact that some of the greatest lessons I have
learnt in life, were those imparted in me during my callow years at the
beginning of my mid education life. As it is the life of many of us to be
naughty and jumpy at this age, so was this little boy in class whose name I can
hardly recall. During a school gathering on a certain occasion, he did
something (I don’t remember what) that provoked the ire of one of the teachers.
The teacher looked at him, then looked at us all and then looked at him again; at
that point no one could guess what would be next, probably a slap or rebuke but
neither was forthcoming. Instead, with a calm and gentle stance, he asked a
seemingly simple and straightforward question from no-one-knows-where; “Did you
grow up or you were brought up?” It wasn’t just about the strangeness of the question
but his face was also revealing, you didn’t need to be an expert in body
language to know how disgusted he was. Because that simple statement had
attracted the attention of many, he seized the opportunity to give us a life
lesson. He explained that there is a huge difference between growing up and
being brought up because the former means that like an offshoot of a plant you
accumulated years and without being tendered and raised you have reached that
age of your life, the latter on the other hand means that you were cared for
and most importantly in the meticulous process of bringing you up, you were
taught manners and how to behave especially in the presence of other members of
the public. He wasn’t done yet. Much more than being brought up, it needn’t
have been in a house but rather a home, the difference being obvious! For the
little boy who had misbehaved, he wished the earth could swallow him up but for
the rest of us it was a point driven home.
Ultimately
as a matter of fact, our conduct as individuals is not something that is
watermarked on us at birth but rather components that we learn bit by bit from
the actions and examples that are before us. This is exactly why the family
environment is very important for child upbringing because in the absence of a
caring and compassionate atmosphere, the effects are easy to notice.
I
don’t proclaim sainthood for starters but for more times than not, the young
people (call them the millennials or even the burger-sausage-pizza generation) have been castigated for mostly their
shortcomings rather than their achievements. But we also need to look at it in
a larger context; do these young ones have older people that they look up to?
If they look up to them, then we must consider what the elders have in their showroom
that we visit and take along with us ready to adopt and make part of our lives.
It is easy for us to adopt in our vocabulary watermelons or pumpkins or even
send people to hang or in hell because those are the examples we are being fed
on everyday and each day!
Blessed
week!
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